Diedara's Vacation
by Dark Angel Fall
Summary: What does Diedara do on his vacation?


The whole group of Akatsuki members paid no attention to him when he said that he was off for a vacation. He claimed that he needed to find "new art". Whatever that meant.

xXxXxXx

O REC

The screen shows a dusty village, surrounded by high cliffs. The scenery flashes upward to capture the sun. The suddenly, a close-up to a large building at the center of the village. A voice suddenly starts to narrate before the camera swings wildly to reveal the face of the narrator, who is the same person as the cameraman.

"I, Diedara, Master Artist, shall now make new art, yeah. And the new art will be a _Magnum Opus!_ As it comes from ME." Emphasis on the word "me" with hands as camera drops to the ground.

Lots of scuffling sounds are heard as the sky and the ground become vertical. Swearing and grunts can be heard as well. The view is turned to the right way and then is focused back on the man's face.

"Day One of my new venture, the camera turns to face the village, then moves into a close up of a particular building we shall observe the chosen creature in its natural habitat. There, in that hubbub center is the natural habitat of the said creature." A really big zoom ensues to a particular window inside.

"Now, if we look through that hole, we can see the creature. A red headed person comes into view. See how this creature, which I shall now call the Red Panda, reacts to his environment and the hostilities located within his environment. Extra zoom in.

"From what I have gathered, such a creature as the Red Panda eats foods from his dry habitat and like most creatures, seems to have a preference for water. Camera focuses on another table, also in the room. I see foods, which closely resemble that of human food, but I can't be certain of it."

Suddenly with great zeal the narrator/cameraman begins to talk excitedly.

"LOOK! Look! It is eating what appears to be an apple! Success! We have seen the Red Panda take a bite of a recognizable food!"

Diedara one handedly sets up a stand upon which he places the video recorder and he sits down, sweating under his coat. He continues to narrate while taking out a pair of binoculars. He uses the binoculars to continue watching with rapt attention as the codenamed "Red Panda" eats his food.

Camera screen focuses

"It has been three days that I've been up here, perched upon this rocky ledge observing the Red Panda. He has yet to do something that will bring further studies. So far, he has been spending time in his den, sitting at some sort of a ledge, shifting through stacks and stacks of leaves."

Camera swings to focus on a scary image…Diedara hasn't shaved for days…and his shirt is torn straight down WARNING: PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED! his chest, which actually does look quite delish because he is lean and buff…So a man who is half-dressed and not shaved for days appears on screen.

"The Red Panda has been sighted leaving his den! We must follow him upon his course!"

The screen starts to move all over the place, bouncing up and down as Diedara narrates.

"It seems as if (pant) the Red Panda has decided to go and attempt to find something outside (pant) of his den! I wonder where (pant) he'll be going?" All is silent for a few minutes…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

The screen starts to show different things. The cameraman is falling. Flashes of the blue sky are shown, as well as the try desert-scape below. sfx: THUD

Camera is picked up off the ground and is set to refocus.

"Hehe, it seems like in my haste to follow the Red Panda, I didn't look down at the ground and well…_jumped_ off a ledge. Hehe." Diedara momentarily pauses the screen to scan the horizon for the "Red Panda."

Catching sight of something flaming red, he focuses the camera towards that place.

"Hmmm. It seems as if the Red Panda just moved…WAIT! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!"

Camera screen shows a red-haired, black-lined eyes man standing in front with a hand raised and pointed at the screen. The man is very pissed. Suddenly a flurry of sand advances toward the camera and cuts out the tape.

xXxXxXx

Pein looked up from the television screen. "Uh…Diedara spent four weeks in Suna just taping that crap?"

Itachi nodded. "What did you expect? Do you seriously think that Diedara would do anything actually worth productivity?"

Tobi smiled and grabbed another cookie off of the tray sitting in front of all the Akatsuki members. "Tobi happy!! Tobi like movie! Tobi no like scary ending!"

Kisame raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat. "Well, that tape sort of clarifies why Diedara is now in a full body cast."

All the members turned to look at the normally perky blonde in the corner of the room, in a deep coma with a foolish grin upon his face and a full body cast covering everything else.

In unison, they all muttered "BAKA."


End file.
